This is part of an unfinished song titled “Skeletons” written by Brian Jost. The “real” recordings of the song include vocals by Brian Jost and acoustic guitar as the primary instrument. The version you hear in this video is part of at least 49 different melodies that Brian may be including in a musical screenplay (perhaps it will be performed on-stage) or audiobook filled with music. This quick recording is an example of how Brian captures some of the musical ideas that show up in his head every day.
Brian is hesitant to share this recording as it is nothing like what the finished will sound like. He has also recorded about 20 versions of “Skeletons” that are closer to complete with multiple verses, chorus, and bridge. He is afraid to let people hear him sing and afraid in general about sharing his music. Brian is considering hiring an experienced vocalist to sing “Skeletons” to accompany his own guitar playing (likely along with Brian’s amateur piano/keyboard skills).
The beginning lyrics for “Skeletons” are:
“Hanging like I do, it’s every day. Waking up repeating what I say. I feel it now. I feel it coming my way. It’s time to toss out the skeletons.”
Brian wrote the initial song idea in January 2019 during a very difficult depressive episode that included a lot of suicidal ideation. Suicide is what Brian felt was coming his way, and it felt inevitable to Brian which was new to him. Before “Skeletons” showed up, his future death was open to endless possibilities (accidents, illnesses, disease, old-age/natural causes, etc. – just like everyone else), but during that winter, and especially in January and February of 2019, he felt he knew that suicide would be the way he would leave this world. The inevitability part of his potential future suicide faded, but not without a lot of attention and hard work.
Brian hopes to share how he manages living with thoughts of suicide, and specifically how he has worked to stop thoughts of suicide from growing roots in his mind. Part of what he wants to share is how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has improved his state of mental health and how he continues to use DBT skills to build a life worth living. Brian has so much to share and he is trying to organize the information in a productive manner without becoming severely overwhelmed.
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Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.