Red Light Recess #3: Not Being Me

“Red Light Coffee #3”

(Sort of continued from post “Red Light Recess #2: Permission”)

I know I need permission from myself to fully embrace the musical creativity that is apparently a big part of who I am, AND I continue to struggle with offering myself that freedom. Other creative urges I notice such as photography and wood-working are stifled even more than music. I don’t know what happened to me. I don’t know why I fear being me. I am covering up so much creativity. What am I truly afraid of? Why is this so difficult? Why can’t I simply write a song and share it and feel good that I finished it and shared it? That’s who I want to be. That’s who I am inside. I’m just not letting me be me.

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For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Music Production, Podcast Intro Jingle Services, Podcast production and Audio Engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

 

Red Light Recess #2: Permission

“Red Light Coffee #2”

In 2019 I noticed I was avoiding my mission, my purpose in life. I wrote about it so I could try to understand it. I believed it. It made sense to me, yet I didn’t believe I was the right person for the mission. Five years later, I jumped to a higher level of understanding, but the self doubt and fears remained. Where shall I start? It’s so overwhelming when I see and feel all the pieces floating around me. Perhaps I should start by stating that I feel the need to be granted permission to be the songwriter and musician that I already am on the inside. Although I recognize my musical talents and skills, I struggle to allow myself to live it out fully, to experience my musical creativity the way I sense it deep within my mind and body. I recently realized that the only permission I need is permission from myself. Nobody else gives a shit. It’s all me, blocking me.

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For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Music Production, Podcast Intro Jingle Services, Podcast production and Audio Engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Red Light Recess #1: I Needed a Break

“Red Light Coffee #1”

Life became too much to handle. I needed a break. The universe showed me it was time to take a “Red Light Recess.” Is it a break from life, or a break from reality? What’s the difference? Is it something else entirely? Is it a dent in my mind, an empty space with room only for the present moment? I do not know. I cannot know. I only know that it is all I need right now.

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For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Music Production, Podcast Intro Jingle Services, Podcast production and Audio Engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/