Ep-022, HUGE Progress, “I Guess I Will” song by Forcing Smiles, Brian Jost

Progress continues with Brian Jost’s unfinished 2004 song “I Guess I Will.”

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Episode 19 intro recorded:  01/09/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-021, New Melody & Chords, “I Guess I Will” by Forcing Smiles, Brian Jost

New song parts captured for “I Guess I Will.” Zoom H2n MP3 64k (about 15 minutes), then WAV 48k/24b (about last 3 minutes). Note… the Wav was up front before intro on separate track with a bit of chorus and reverb.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Episode 19 intro recorded:  01/09/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-020, The Diary of Anne Frank, music exploration 1/09/2025, Forcing Smiles, Brian Jost

Brian Jost practices piano and tries to re-learn “I Guess I will” as his kids get ready to leave for school.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Episode 19 intro recorded:  01/09/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-019, “I Am Afraid” (Cloverleaf Mix, 2024) by Forcing Smiles, Brian Jost

This version (Cloverleaf Mix) of “I Am Afraid” (written January 2009 by Forcing Smiles/Brian Jost) was performed and recorded in March 2024 by Brian Jost partially at Cloverleaf Audio-Visual in St. Paul, MN, and was mixed and mastered by Matt Ebso (Cloverleaf owner).

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Episode 19 intro recorded:  01/09/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-018, More “I Guess I Will,” new demo, recording session 01/08/2025

Continuation of episodes 15 and 17. Brian works on his recently rediscovered 20+ year-old song, “I Guess I Will,” written and originally recorded in the later part of 2004 while living in a cabin rental in Barnum, MN, when I was working in Duluth, between living in Portland, Oregon, and Vancouver, Washington.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Episode 18 recorded:  01/08/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-017, Rediscovering “I Guess I Will,” 2004 song by Forcing Smiles (Brian Jost)

Brian works on his recently rediscovered 20+ year-old song, “I Guess I Will,” written and originally recorded in the later part of 2004 while living in a cabin rental in Barnum, MN, when I was working in Duluth, between living in Portland, Oregon, and Vancouver, Washington.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Episode 17 recorded:  01/07/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-016, “Devil Said” 2004 song by Forcing Smiles, Brian Jost

“Devil Said” was written and recorded by Brian Jost (Forcing Smiles) likely towards the end of 2004 (no later than December 2004) while Brian was living in a cabin in Barnum, MN, when he was working in Duluth, between living in Portland, Oregon, and Vancouver, Washington.

Brian plans on re-recording “Devil Said”  for his 2nd album “Letting Barnum Be,” before releasing album #3, “The Other Side.”

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Conversation between Brian, Jimmy, Bob, and Carl recorded:  01/06/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-015, 2004 song “I Guess I Will” by Forcing Smiles (Brian Jost)

This song, “I Guess I Will,” was written and recorded in the later part of 2004 while living in a cabin rental in Barnum, MN, when I was working in Duluth, between living in Portland, Oregon, and Vancouver, Washington.

I plan on re-recording “I Guess I Will”  for my 2nd album “Letting Barnum Be,” Before moving on to album #3, “The Other Side.”

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit:

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Conversation recorded:  01/05/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-014, Album “Letting Barnum Be,” and song “Lazy Show” by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost

I found a bunch of music I wrote and recorded in 2004 while living in a cabin rental in Barnum, MN, when I was working in Duluth, between living in Portland, Oregon, and Vancouver, Washington. This music is from a very difficult and important time of my life. I feel decided that I will re-record much of this 20+ year old music as album 2, titled “Letting Barnum Be.” We’ll see if I follow through with that idea.

Song idea title: “Lazy Show” (written 9/10/2024) by Forcing Smiles (Brian Jost), copyright 2024. Song recorded 9/10/2024 on Zoom H2n.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Conversation recorded:  01/05/2025

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-013, practicing “Jingle Jangle (Smack)” (Tambourine), by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost

Don’t waste your time listening to this.

Song title: “Jingle Jangle” or maybe “Jingle Jangle Smack” (written Sept. 2024) by Forcing Smiles (Brian Jost), copyright 2024.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

Conversation recorded:  01/03/2025

Final play of song (last few minutes of episode) recorded 9/24/2024.

All music, lyrics, and recordings by Forcing Smiles / Brian Jost.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-012, “Like a River” by Forcing Smiles, Brian Jost

Song title: “Like a River” (written Oct. 20245) by Forcing Smiles (Brian Jost), copyright 2024.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Conversation recorded:  01/02/2025

Ep-011, Song “Bleeding Out” by Forcing Smiles

Here’s a feel-good song for the New Year by Forcing Smiles! Something much more positive compared to what I’ve shared in the past.

Title:  BLEEDING OUT

 “I can feel it on the inside. Someone pounding on my shell. Yelling at me to get out now. Telling me to leave my hell…”

All music and lyrics by Brian Jost, aka. Forcing Smiles, copyrighted.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Conversation recorded:  01/01/2025

Ep-010, Time Machines & Angels, song: “The One”

Recorded December 2024.

For more music, blog posts, and other info, please visit

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Ep-009, Demo Album, 13 Songs (not Fugazi), by Brian Jost, a.k.a. Eureka Point Lighthouse

Here is the demo album (recorded December 2023) which I have started to re-record in March 2024. Most of these were written in January 2019. A few are much newer. Tracks 1-12 were recorded on 12/15/2023 at home. Track 13 was recorded on 12/18/2023 at Cloverleaf Audio-Visual, a recording studio in St. Paul, MN, where some of the later re-recording has taken place. All recording, engineering, mixing, (and not really mastered at all), by Brian Jost.

Here are the song titles and approximate start times within this episode:

  1. “I am Afraid” – Starts around 00:04:01
  2. “Skeletons” – Starts around 00:7:10
  3. “Cup of Coffee” – Starts around 00:11:20
  4. “Rearrange the Stars” – Starts around 00:14:53
  5. “Better Off in the Morning” – Starts around 00:21:51
  6. “God’s Apology” – Starts around 00:23:45
  7. “Happy Music” – Starts around 00:25:43
  8. “Buy Me a Ticket” – Starts around 00:27:29
  9. “High Note” – Starts around 00:30:15
  10. “Turn it Around” – Starts around 00:33:08
  11. “Ten Times Gravity” – Starts around 00:36:20
  12. “Every Now and Then” – Starts around 00:38:22
  13. “Last Song” – Starts around 00:39:51

For more (bad) music, blog posts, and other info, please visit

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Red Light Coffee #10

 

Ep-008, “Buy Me a Ticket”

Brian considers stopping the podcast production, and shares a newer song titled “Buy Me a Ticket” which he will be performing at an open mic.

For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Music Production, Podcast Intro Jingle Services, Podcast production and Audio Engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Ep-007, The Song That Won’t End

The band has not done a good job of staying motivated to produce this podcast in an organized manner. Brian practices a new chord progression and melody change for “Skeletons.” Everyone is getting tired of that song.

For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Music Production, Podcast Intro Jingle Services, Podcast production and Audio Engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Ep-006, Six Months Later, Fake Podcast Jingle & Other Music Talk

Brian Jost and the Eureka Point Lighthouse band try to revive the podcast after taking a six-month break.

For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Music Production, Podcast Intro Jingle Services, Podcast production and Audio Engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Ep-005, Others Have It Worse (Al Levin – guest blog post) & Song “Better Off In the Morning”

Brian reads another (possibly fake) letter about a real situation from “Tom” the medic who recently assisted Brian after he called 911 for a possible heart attack. Then Brian reads a real blog post titled “Others Have it Worse” written by his real friend Al Levin. The band shares a song titled “Better Off In the Morning” written by Jimmy in 2019 (OK, fine, Brian wrote it).

The blog post shared in this episode titled “Others Have it Worse” from October 11, 2021, was written by Al Levin, a life coach and mental health advocate who produces and hosts “The Depression Files” podcast. He is also an assistant principal in a public elementary school. Learn more about Al and his podcast and read more blog posts at TheDepressionFiles.com.

For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Podcast production and audio engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Ep-004, Meditation Distractions, Songs “Cup of Coffee” & “Ergonomics”

This episode includes a letter written to the band by “Distractible Dude” who asked about how to maintain a meditation practice and how to avoid distractions while meditating. Brian tries to answer to the best of his ability. Brian discussed meditation instruction by Andrew Archer, LICSW. See links below at the end of these show notes for more information. The band shares the songs “Cup of Coffee” (2019 by Brian Jost… or, wait, I mean Jimmy wrote that one), and “Ergonomics” (2021 by Brian Jost).

For more music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other info, please visit https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Podcast production and audio engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Listen to Andrew Archer discuss how to meditate in his podcast “The Subversive Therapist” within the episode titled “S1, Part 9, Epilogue: The Question of Meditation Practice.” Find that episode on Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s1-part-9-epilogue-the-question-of-meditation-practice/id1583102379?i=1000533442790 or visit https://the-subversive-therapist.blubrry.net/

Ep-003, Abandoned Recovery Story, Song “God’s Apology”

Brian talks about how he became afraid to share his personal mental health recovery story after he became a parent. Brian and the band discuss positive self-talk and some of the things they have learned in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Bob’s poem “Where’s My Art” (read in episode 2) becomes a song in episode 3. This episode ends with Brian performing the song “God’s Apology.”

More music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other resources: https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Podcast production and audio engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Ep-002, Hijacked by Fear (Tornado Watch/Baseball). Song “I am Afraid.” 02/22/2023

Brian Jost shares an experience of having his mind hijacked by fear and anxiety at his son’s baseball game during a tornado watch. The “Eureka Point Lighthouse” band shares Jimmy’s song “I Am Afraid” written in January 2019. Bob shares a poem titled “Where’s My Art.” The episode ends with a song titled “I Love My Bed.” Enjoy.

More music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other resources: https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Podcast production and audio engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

Ep-001, Meet the Band. Song “Skeletons.” 02/21/2023

Brian Jost and his friends Jimmy, Bob, and Carl (the members of the band “Eureka Point Lighthouse”) welcome you to the podcast. They share the song “Skeletons” written in January 2019 during a deep depression that involved strong suicidal ideation. Mental health is clearly going to be a topic in this podcast.

More music (SoundCloud), blog posts, and other resources: https://EurekaPointLighthouse.com/

Podcast production and audio engineering services provided by Brian Jost:  https://www.inthemic.com/

SUICIDE AND CRISIS HOTLINE (phone) – Dial 988.  More info:  https://988lifeline.org/

Mental health resource (education, support, advocacy, public awareness):  NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness:  https://nami.org/

Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.