A battle with suicidal ideation. Lyrics and music by Brian Jost. “Skeletons” was written in January 2019. Recorded by Brian Jost.
Lyrics:
Hanging like I do, it’s every day. Waking up repeating what I say. I feel it now. I feel it coming my way. It’s time to toss out the skeletons.
Jumping out the window to be free. Crawling out of my skin until I jump. One foot is dangling. One foot feeling the wind. I’ve felt this way for far too long.
It’s time to toss out the skeletons. It’s time to toss out every last one. It’s time to toss out the skeletons. It’s time to finally be done.
I can’t wait to leave this world and finally move on. I can’t wait to leave this world, I know I don’t belong.
No one has the answer, I am sure. Certainly, I know of just one cure. But I’m afraid of what my kids will think. It’s time to pull myself up by the bootstraps.
That’s a line of bull-shit, it won’t work. But you might hear that one from a jerk. They don’t know better, so it is hard to blame them. I’d like to punch them in the face anyway.
It’s time to toss out the skeletons. It’s time to toss out every last one. It’s time to toss out the skeletons. It’s time to finally be done.
There’s got to be a way to somehow set me free. I’m so god damned tired of thinking about the end of me. There’s got to be a way to turn this all around. I’m so tired of not wanting to be around. There’s got to be a way to somehow let me be killing a big part of me without killing me. There’s got to be a way to turn this all around. I’m so tired. I’m so tired now.
It’s time to toss out the skeletons. It’s time to toss out every last one. It’s time to toss out the skeletons. It’s time to finally be done.
Read or listen to Brian Jost’s memoir: “Grounded by Bipolar Disorder; One Pilot’s Landing” (available in print, e-book/kindle, and audiobook). Click HERE to find the book on Amazon and Audible.